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Joke of the Day

"Sick and tired of birds going to any concert they want for free. Maybe get a job and buy a ticket like the rest of us."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman... I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ""Where's the self-help section?"" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"I once tried eating a clock it was very time consuming"

"You should be able to get out of a speeding ticket if you can prove you were listening to a kick-ass song."

"You'll know when it hits 0 degrees because all the Canadians will be wearing shorts, playing frisbee and BBQing outside."

"Lindt have done well this Christmas They've made a killing"

"What is the strongest bird ? A crane !"

"Give a Nigerian a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start e-mailing people."

"What do you call the Italian slums? The spaghettos."

"Nothing says ""I enjoyed the taste of paste, fingerpaint, and crayons in first grade"" more than a potato chip bag opened from the bottom."