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Joke of the Day

"You should be able to get out of a speeding ticket if you can prove you were listening to a kick-ass song."

"A one-liner based on what happened to me at work. An insect landed in my beverage, now I'm feeling a bit fly-tea."

"What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for? best before..."

"I've got a long history of suicide in my family; the good news is it skips a generation... so if I'm lucky, my kids will kill themselves."

"I got fired from the banana plantation for ""wasting resources"" All i did was throw out the Bent ones"

"I'm a leader, not a follower... Unless it's into a dark place, then screw that, you're going first."

"Why was the pianist arrested? He was assaulting A Minor."

"Oh, you wash your clothes each time you wear them? Well la de da, your majesty."

"A Freudian slip? That's where you think one thing but fuck your mother."

"Why did the ghosts haunt the bar? For the boos."