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Joke of the Day
"out of all the lies ive told just kidding is my favorite. I don't get it?"
Next Joke
"Q: What is the one thing you will never hear a man say? A: Her tits are just too big."
"Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do."
"I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs."
"The human body is amazing; I ate no pickles today, yet I just produced a burp that tasted EXACTLY like delicious pickles."
"What do you call a murderer who kills during breakfast time? A cereal killer"
"We named our beautiful daughter after my mother. Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 22 this year!"
"[speed dating] HER: So what do you- ME: How fast can you order a pizza? HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT"
"What kind of phone does The Flash use? Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash"
"Two tampons are walking down the street. One is a name brand, and the other is generic. Which one talks to you first? Neither. They're stuck up bitches."