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Joke of the Day

"Being nice to the people you don't like isn't called 2 faced, its called growing up."

"What did the samurai do...? Q: What did the samurai do when he was dishonored by his inability to complete the crossword puzzle? A: He committed ritual sudoku."

"It's like my pet hippo doesn't even realise it's my pet. DOCTOR: Please be quiet while I stitch up your face."

"What do Nazis drink for breakfast? Orange Jews."

"What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus!"

"What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions? An algorithm."

"Menage a trois?! I haven't even successfully split a Kit-Kat three-ways"

"Now I know my dad laughed so much the first time I said ""fajita"" I pronounced it like ""[FUHJITUH]"" and you can guess what it sounds like."

"I'm eating this banana sideways so my husband doesn't get the wrong idea."

"Daughter is acting so rude I'm not sure she's even mine. Think my wife may have cheated on me with YouTube's comments section."