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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day."

"When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof... I was shocked!"

"Judge: What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13 1979?"

"Selling an improved autocorrect? Shut up and take my monkey."

"What do you get when you drop a Piano on an army base? A flat major."

"What does Pokemon Go and a policeman have in common? You gotta catch Jamal"

"What is the difference between a joke and three dicks? Your mom can't take a joke."

"I asked a girl to kiss me under a mistletoe and she said she wouldn't kiss me under anesthesia."

"What's the point of a high school reunion? I have Facebook. I already know you got Fat"

"i was just about to ramp my car off a cliff into the ocean but then i remembered someone had told me to drive safe earlier"