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Joke of the Day

"[Watching boxing] Sure bro, I watch boxing all the ti- HEY DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?! HE JUST PUNCHED THAT GUY! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS!"

"What does a guy who's self-conscious about his uncircumcised penis say to his barber? Just a little off the tip- I mean top."

"I missed you with all my darts"

"The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives."

"Why type of lightning likes to play sports? -Ball lightning"

"How many Vietnam Vets does it take to change a light bulb? What, you don't know? Well I guess you weren't FUCKING THERE, MAN!"

"I'm not Racist I love blacks, I think everyone should have one."

"What do you call a constipated German? *Farfrompoopin*"

"If athletes get athletes foot. What do astronauts get? missile toe"

"A lot of the parents at my kids' school don't really seem into sharing a laugh about the inescapability of death."