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Joke of the Day

"I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision."

"I have a great story to tell u. ""Why don't u just go write a book"" Wow, that's- ""Don't u dare say it-"" a novel idea. ""I'm moving out"""

"Clearly I have no shame but thanks for asking. You must be new here."

"Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three? Because it says ""No Trespassing""."

"Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got alzheimers."

"Flavor Flav turns 51 today. He'll spend a quiet day at home, still resting up after a weekend of moving clocks forward."

"Pandas, skunks and zebras are the oldest species on Earth, dating back to long before colour was invented."

"What's the worst thing about being black and jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven."

"*somehow manages to beep at you sarcastically*"

"What do black people and Batman have in common? Neither one of them get r/dadjokes"