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Joke of the Day

"People who speak who speak 3 languages are trilingual People who speak 2 languages are bilingual. People who speak 1 language are Americans."

"Those tiny bottles at the liquor store aren't free samples. I know that now."

"So a. Mormon and a Catholic walk into a bar... And there goes your middle class."

"Hillary Clinton walks into a bar. Bartender: What'll it be, Secretary Clinton? Hillary: Let me see what polls best among my focus groups."

"Tried to catch fog today Mist"

"Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. ""Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?"" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!"

"A Sleepwalking Nun What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' catholic"

"How many ears does Spock have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear."

"What do you call a camera with severe mood swings? A BiPolaroid"

"I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms. Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs."