209070

Joke of the Day

"50 years ago you had to get really fucking drunk to drop your phone in a urinal."

"Why did the gold fish cross the road? To go to /r/antijokes"

"I attached all of my watches together to make a belt. It was a waist of time."

"Why don't Jewish mothers drink? Alcohol interferes with their suffering."

"They're not gym clothes if you don't go to the gym, they're pajamas."

"What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend? On the front page of reddit."

"If I'm ever on life support, unplug me... Then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Why isn't China a democracy? Because then they'd have to hold erections."

"My girlfriend's best friend had her arm stuck in the dirt this morning She asked me how to get her hand out quickly. I told her, ""Dig south for her arm, bae."""

"I accidentally clicked on a ""You've won an iPhone""-popup. Luckliy it was only a virus."