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Joke of the Day

"I just went to the apple orchard with my girlfriend... My only complaint was I didn't get to be in cider."

"Gonna get my girlfriend a pickaxe for Valentine's Day. Because she's a Minor"

"How to piss off the JokeExplainBot?"

"What did one eye say to the other eye? Between you and me, something smells. Credit: Christmas cracker."

"[junkyard dog barking viciously and running directly at me] Me: Wow he must really want me to pet him"

"2016: No way will Trump win the election 2017: No way will President Trump fire all those nukes 2018: No way we're doing what those Apes say"

"If you get raped... Then at least you know there is someone in the world who wants you."

"Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin. One prefers to use its head, while the others relies on tales..."

"I'm sick of all of the Irish stereotypes... As soon as I finish this drink I'm punching someone"

"A set of jump leads walk into a bar... The barman looks at them, and says, ""Alright, I'll serve you, just don't start anything."""