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Joke of the Day

"A set of jump leads walk into a bar... The barman looks at them, and says, ""Alright, I'll serve you, just don't start anything."""

"My girlfriend told me to roleplay as her daddy. So I left her."

"What's the difference between Toddlers & Tiaras and a scat fetish? One's fucking shit, and the other is a scat fetish. Just made it up, wondered how you guys thought it would be."

"How's your baby? Your baby penis!"

"Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet."

"Who put semen in the basement? I don't know. That's just the way it's spelled."

"What's the most sensitive part of the body when masturbating? The ears"

"So, I decided to give Reddit a try... It has its ups and downs."

"in other news: 8 hours from now, half the country will be screaming about tragedy and loss b/c some dudes didnt catch a ball enough times"

"wife: You're home early me [hugging the dog] I had to see you"