131988

Joke of the Day

"Atheism and Religion are but two sides of the same coin. One prefers to use its head, while the others relies on tales..."

"Man, I hated Alex Haley, the author of Roots... He always had his niggers in a *twist*."

"I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual."

"My dog used to chase after people on a bike so I took the bike away from him."

"This morning I combed my son's hair sideways and to the front then yelled ""you just got Bieber'd!"" He's not talking to me."

"ME: I propose teaching pandas to play pattycake bec- ZOOKEEPER: How do you keep getting in here? ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out."

"A dog runs for senator... He has no previous experience in pawlitics"

"Given that my grandmother's world is upended by soup that is too salty, I can't help but question how bad The Depression REALLY was."

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I'm not so sure what I did, but he sent me a text that only said, ""K"" so it must be pretty bad."

"You know how people play video games by pushing all the buttons at once? That's how I'm handling adulthood."