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Joke of the Day
"Nothing like wearing a pair of crocs to say ""I have no aspirations of getting laid tonight!"""
Next Joke
"God gave me a choice when I was born: a good memory or a big dick. I don't remember which one I chose."
"cop: ""you kinda look like one that's all"" me: ""in no way am i a pirate"" cop: ""hmm, are you sure?"" parrot on my shoulder: ""did he stutter?"""
"We can put a man on the moon, but we can't stop internet porn from buffering every 20 seconds."
"I've only seen Magic Mike, can I see Magic Mike XXL... ...or do I need to see the other 28 in between first?"
"Can putting ketchup on everything affect your credit score?"
"A code tester walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders ten beers. Orders 2.15 billion beers. Orders -1 beers. Orders a nothing. Orders a cat. Tries to leave without paying."
"If you go to the zoo and he doesn't help you steal a monkey, he's not that into you."
"A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. ""Wow,"" says the bartender. ""That is really something. Where'd you get it?"" ""Africa,"" says the parrot."
"There is a mile long line of cars stopped ahead, but go ahead and honk at the guy in front of you. It might help."