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Joke of the Day

"A tearful Ray Romano raises the gun to his temple. 'not everybody' he whispers 'not everybody'"

"Knock knock. Knock knock Who's there? Nobell Nobell who? Nobell that's why I knock lah."

"I was going to make an anal joke... Butt fuck it."

"This morning someone phoned me and told me that I need to sort my fucking life out. It was quite a wake up call."

"What's a Buccaneer? They're on the side of your buccin head."

"I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It's like they don't know I plan on cropping them out later."

"What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth control pill? A trip without the kids."

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead!"

"Why did the girltree fall in love with the boy tree? He was sappy"

"Why was the German woman freaking out? Because she was late."