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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a strop club and asks how much it costs to come inside. The man at the door says ""it's going to cost at least 1000 dollars to cum inside sir"""

"She said she was a free spirit. That's good. Wasn't sure how I'd pay for a spirit."

"Do scientists know how Ebola effects white people yet?"

"If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them"

"I saw a sheep give birth today All I could say was ""ewe"" (I know this joke is probably overused but I'm currently on a Bill Nye the Science Guy nostalgia trip right now so fuck the haters.)"

"Not all Muslims are terrorists It's just the ones with short fuses"

"""Diamonds are forever. But so is herpes."" This is why I never get hired to write advertising campaigns."

"A man from out of town walks into a bar... ...the locals know to duck."

"Alcohol won't mend a broken heart.But that doesn't mean I won't try it again tonight."

"So sick of musicians telling lovers in songs that they'd give them stuff if they only had it to give. That's too easy, assholes."