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Joke of the Day

"A hotel just offered me a job making beds. I think I'll turn them down."

"I want to call my daughter Bellaillusions... because tricks are something a whore does for money."

"Which American state is not great, but not bad either? OK."

"To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night, I'm not letting you out!"

"How do you get a person with podophobia to leave? Just say ""shoe""."

"My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me. At least that's one thing she has in common with my wife."

"No, I don't need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself."

"Q: How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Uh...standby I'll check on that."

"Dating a guy with big hands is the best, at any time I can say ""Babe, can you hold these 72 doll heads?"" And he can, he can hold them all."

"The teacher asked Jimmy ""Why is your cat at school today, Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am gonna eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""