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Joke of the Day

"My internet went out today so I went downstairs and talked to my family They seem like nice people."

"My boss gave me a nice pat on the back the other day.. It made things a bit awkward on the shitter though."

"What do you call colorful secret police? The RGB"

"Husband -Talking to wife I have a problem Wife - how many times must i tell you that it is ""we,"" ""we have a problem"". Husband - Ok, sweetie, we have a problem. My secretary is having our baby"

"All I wanna do is *gun shot* *gun shot* *gun shot* *cash register noise* *goat sounds* *mousetrap explodes* wake up from this weird dream."

"Why it is important that you grow mustaches? So that when you lick pussy they absorb the acids and therefore protect your teeth from falling off."

"Why do lesbians hate Nutella? Because it's not nut-free"

"Two thieves try to steal a calendar. They each got six months."

"If you really want to stick it to somebody... Use tape."

"Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors? So they can see the battle."