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Joke of the Day

"Billion dollar idea: Make a prescription drug that gets rid of the side effects of all of the other prescription drugs."

"Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless just like this post"

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Hit that faggot with your car."

"What's the difference between 6 million dollars and 6 million Jews? I give a fuck if you shove 6 million dollars in the oven"

"Apparently there was a mass shooting at the Gap. There were a lot of casual tees."

"Garbage men have Hefty contracts."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut? He's all right now!"

"Yesterday I thought I was in the Amazon river Turns out I was in denial"

"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"

"[2:30AM] *it's quite late now. Let's make a call* *Hey Boss, are you sleepin?* [Yes you nerd, why?] *cause I'm still doing your stupid work*"