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Joke of the Day

"[2:30AM] *it's quite late now. Let's make a call* *Hey Boss, are you sleepin?* [Yes you nerd, why?] *cause I'm still doing your stupid work*"

"What if gravity...was invented by the vacuum industry so there was always shit on the floor to clean up. Just hear me out tho."

"I'm so broke.. .. that when my Identiy was stolen today and LifeLock called me and said I now have no money in my bank account. I was like, ""Sweet! I'm no longer in debt"""

"Wife: ""Do you think of me when you're away darling?"" Husband: ""Yes honey I always bare you in mind."""

"What did Picasso and Smurfette have in common? Both had blue periods."

"The Leaning Tower of Pisa is a good representation of all Italians Not straight."

"With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say Make America Great Britain again!"

"Ever hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It was dreadful."

"What do astronauts put on their toast? Space Jam."

"I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots."