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Joke of the Day

"With Trump and Hillary as your options North America, You really should have voted for Deez Nuts"

"Hispanic magician: ""I will disappear on the count of three. Ready? Uno, dos"" *poof* And just like that he vanished without a tres"

"Two men are pissing off a bridge. ""Water's cold"" says one. ""And deep."" says the other."

"I got mad at my uncle for telling me the results of the Cubs game because he is an hour ahead of me in New York. And he doesn't have a DVR."

"Did you heard about the cardiac arrest victim? He was shocked when he survived"

"You know what's the only difference between Martin Luther King day and St. Patrick's day? Everybody wants to be Irish on St. Patrick's day."

"I had my first UFO experience this morning I walked into the kitchen and said to the missus ""Morning fat ass"". Next thing there were flying saucers coming at me from everywhere!"

"[job interview] Me: Time travel Boss: What is your biggest strenWHAT?!"

"Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says, ""I think we're doing this joke wrong""."

"What Do Bernie Sander Supporters Call Their Parents? Roommates"