53960

Joke of the Day

"Doing squats. And by that I mean I'm in the squat position. But really the couch is holding me up. I'm sitting on the couch."

"I'm thankful to live in a time where I can use social media without having to use social skills."

"My roommate recently had me added to her insurance. Not what I was thinking of when we spoke about friends with benefits."

"How do you confuse a palaeontologist? Give them a used tampon and ask what period it's from."

"If they can make crunchy peanut butter, surely they can make crunchy butter."

"I'm always Frank & Earnest With Women In Chicago I'm Frank in New York I'm Earnest"

"How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land baseball? He throws four meatballs!"

"Finally had sex in a hall of mirrors I was fucking beside myself!"

"I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes."

"Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and 7 on a calulator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key."