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Joke of the Day
"How did hipster kid hurt himself? He touched the stove before it was cool..."
Next Joke
"What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other? Same time next month?"
"Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them."
"I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me."
"*montage of me teaching a penguin to do everything my son Brian can do* Wife: Where's Brian? Me: [studying her closely] He's... right here?"
"Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken!"
"Why do black people go to church? Because the father is actually there."
"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It can't come to you anyway."
"What came first, internet porn or ""clear all search history""?"
"Sometimes a man has needs that can't be fulfilled in the home. [goes to animal shelter and pets all the cats]"