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Joke of the Day

"*montage of me teaching a penguin to do everything my son Brian can do* Wife: Where's Brian? Me: [studying her closely] He's... right here?"

"What sport do you play with a wombat? Wom"

"*Reads about a Salmonella outbreak on lettuce -NEVER eats Salad again! *Reads about the dangers of Alcohol poisoning -NEVER reads again!"

"What does ""fingering a girl"" and ""using a chainsaw"" have in common? [NSFW] If you hold at the wrong position your finger goes down the shitter."

"Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service... and says ""Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"""

"Blonde joke... Blonde: What does IDK mean? Brunette: I don't know. Blonde: NOBODY DOES!!!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candice ! Candice who ? Candice get any better !"

"I saw a black guy running from my home with a television I think to myself "" Isn't that mine ?"" Then i realized "" Nope, mine is at home picking cottons """

"Whats the best way to eat a vegetable Go for the wheelchair first"

"Why do hamburgers and hot dogs fuck their cousins? Because they're inbred!"