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Joke of the Day

"An astronaut squirrel, a snail that meows, crab with a whale as a daughter. Dear creators of spongebob, pass the drugs."

"Parents w/ 1st kid: *Peels grape & slices it into 84 tiny pieces. Parents w/ 4th kid: *Gives kid knife & fork to cut their own steak."

"An electron and a positron went into a bar and got totally annihilated."

"Sorry for releasing thousands of shrieking bats at your wedding. Sometimes I don't know what to do with my hands."

"Did you hear that Castro's body double retired? He was tired of playing second Fidel."

"I'm really looking to re-capture my lost youth... ...my basement door doesn't lock properly"

"What do people in the hood enjoy eating? Spaghetto"

"What's the easiest sport to get into? Limbo. They don't set the bar very high."

"McDonald's serves up 1 billion ""abortions on toast"" They've sold 1 billion of [these](http://i.imgur.com/d9CDgON.jpg)...the egg-mcmuffin"

"Terry Fox should have taken his leg off for his run across Canada in 1980 ... and made it the Marathon of Hop"