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Joke of the Day
"What is the greatest joke in the world? My life. My life is a joke."
Next Joke
"Pissed off? Punch a wind chime and you'll feel better."
"Dear ladies who wear black tights and red shoes: Please stop. Minnie Mouse is not a style icon for grown women. Love, M"
"I have standards. I'm looking for a woman that 36-24-36. Age, IQ, Body fat %, that is."
"What did the knife say to the pretty lady? Nothing, she knew what was coming..."
"From 3am to 6am this morning I wanted to kill myself, but now I want some French toast. #cravings"
"It's raining. I'm going to be late for work. I can't fit my hair in the car."
"I've written a musical called Fish. It's very similar to Cats, although Memory's a lot shorter."
"Why do ducks look so sad? Because when they preen their feathers, they look down in the mouth."
"""It meant nothing to me, babe. I swear!"" When my girl catches me in the closet eating Devil's food cake with my bare hands."