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Joke of the Day

"*crumples a hamburger next to the phone* sorry, i'm having trouble hearing u over this delicious hamburger noise call u later ok"

"listening to Mambo No. 5. every time Lou Bega says a woman's name I fire my gun into the sky"

"Why doesn't Rihanna tell her boyfriend jokes anymore? He always beats her to the punchline."

"I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor, and now I don't know what's real anymore"

"DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance. ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance. DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [dies]"

"Me: Your hair smells so good. Which shampoo is that? My Boss: This is inappropriate Me: Your skin is so... My Boss:*Turns off shower* OUT!"

"What was the currency of the Trade Republic of Venice? Dogecoin."

"The fact that Gunplay pulled a gun on his accountant doesn't shock me nearly as much as the fact that Gunplay has an accountant."

"Did you hear about the obese millionaire? He has a four chin."

"Sexual Innuendo is really funny until you shove it down someones throat."