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Joke of the Day

"The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30%of their ice cream."

"I went on a date with a Vacuum Salesperson last night... It sucked."

"i order a pizza online and under special requests i write: ""tell me the meaning of life"". when the door bell rings there's only an empty box"

"Him: My brother wants us all to go camping together next summer. Me: Can't go, I'm allergic. Him: To what? Me: Everything you just said."

"Just noticed that the use by date on my crumpets was April 1st I was sure that someone was playing a joke on me."

"Tits are like Golf You just play the course you're on."

"My dream is to become the first smart person to be interviewed by a newscaster live at a scene."

"""Mrs. Arnold Palmer, what do you do for good luck before your husband plays a tournament?"" ""Well, I kiss his balls for good luck."" ""That must make his putter flutter."""

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven was a registered six offender."

"What do you tell a person who is about to jump off a bridge and commit suicide ""Don't do it! You have so much potential"""