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Joke of the Day

"[1st Date] Her: I've had a hysterectomy Him: I've had a vasectomy Her: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Him: You gonna eat those fries?"

"When I was 8 years old.. My dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie. I miss Snowballs, she was such a good cat."

"Why did the hipster's mouth hurt? Because he ate pizza before it was cool."

"Never date a tennis player Love means nothing to them"

"Why can't t-rexs do push ups? Because they have been extinct for 65 million years."

"My safe word is ""keep going."" It's led to some HILARIOUS miscommunications let me tell you!"

"There are exactly 2 options for headphone cord sizes: 1. Headphone users have torsos? 2. Giraffe strangler"

"What do you call a special needs sheep that got turned into a blanket? A down comforter."

"How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? His hand caught fire."

"Lindsay Lohan's personal chef is just a pinata full of cocaine."