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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a special needs sheep that got turned into a blanket? A down comforter."

"Can you believe this guy watching porn on the bus over my shoulder?"

"I ordered a coffee and the barista asked what size. I told her size didn't matter. We laughed. Then she gave me an extra large coffee."

"Dear Autocorrect, She's an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I'm never getting laid."

"a culture caught between afraid of being seen as too expressive like a hipster or completely inexpressive like a basic person"

"""Time is of the essence"" Twitter: Hahaha nope"

"What do black guys have that's double the size of white men and gets bigger every time they touch a woman? Their criminal record."

"Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a kid? He's back in town and wants your number."

"Racist comments... Just like grandma used to make"

"1990- I have three-way calling, we can all talk for hours 2015- don't even leave me a voicemail unless you are dying or I won money"