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Joke of the Day

"There are exactly 2 options for headphone cord sizes: 1. Headphone users have torsos? 2. Giraffe strangler"

"Ghostbusters is my favorite movie where Bill Murray yells at a giant marshmallow man for stepping on a church."

"Three elephants jump out of a plane. Two hit the ground and one lands in the water! Ba dum tssshhh!"

"I love math but you know what I find odd? Numbers that aren't divisible by two."

"What did one sailor say to the other on Dec. 7 1941? There's a little nip in the air."

"Q: What is 74 to a blonde? A: 69 plus VAT"

"The average American male... has a 5"" penis but says it's 7"". Anyways, close enough....or a perfect 5/7 story?"

"Karma is like 69: ""You get, what you give"

"[First date] ""So, do you have any pets?"" Yeah, I have a pet crow. He's white. ""You have an albino crow?"" He prefers the term cawcasian."

"Father's Day Fun: 1) Walk up to a complete stranger at lunch with his family. 2) Hug him. 3) Tell him 'Happy Father's Day dad'! 4) Run."