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Joke of the Day

"There are exactly 2 options for headphone cord sizes: 1. Headphone users have torsos? 2. Giraffe strangler"

"apparently pharmacies think theyre grocery shops now. selling food product instead of focusing on exceptional pill service. Get real, punk !"

"Went to the car wash and asked for one of those Brazilian wax jobs everyone's been talking about."

"So they told me I couldn't live in the gym but I told them... Squatters' rights."

"How does Norman Bates get to the Bates Motel? He takes the psycho path! (I'll see myself out...)"

"If you cross a telephone and a lobster what will you get? Snappy talk."

"Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today? It's rare to see a medium well done."

"Old joke I can dodge a Ford, but can't afford a Dodge..."

"A wife was dying. She called her husband and said, ""Gary, I've been unfaithful."" Gary answered, ""I know. That's why I poisoned you."""

"I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there."