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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend's not pregnant! Edit: I have to apologize... the pregnancy test came back false *negative*... she is pregnant."

"Why did they call it The Iron Curtain? They were going to call it the Fe line, but that seemed too catty."

"Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... 'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose'"

"I ate an entire pack of rohypnol last night and it didn't even affect me... Anyway, gotta go. I need to do some last minute Christmas shopping."

"Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie."

"When I do laundry I tell people I'm going to 1943 Cause I got to separate the whites and colors"

"I like bald eagles. They taste almost just like baby seals."

"Why are Peter Pan's jokes not funny? Because they Neverland"

"Three elephants jump off a cliff, two land on the beach, one in the ocean... ba-dum tshh"

"What do pedophiles and rappers have incommon They both like da booty"