51039

Joke of the Day

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Beat the fuck out of her so it doesn't happen again."

"Few months ago I was involved in an accident which left half of my entire body paralyzed. I am all right now."

"Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a container of yogurt? A: Yogurt has culture."

"Reddit CEO Ellen Pao is such a .. [Deleted]"

"How do you stop an Albanian tank? You shoot the guy pushing it."

"People are like lottery tickets. You can point to a random one, say it's a loser, and you'll be right most of the time."

"I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert."

"What did the sea say to the shore? Nothing, he just waved. Christmas crackers are the worst."

"What is Hitler's favorite chocolate? Fuhrerro Rocher"

"For gods sake! You'd think it would be safe not locking a car in a church carpark on a Sunday, apparently NOT. Anyway I got 8 iPhones."