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Joke of the Day
"What is a blonde's favorite fairy tale? Humpme Dumpme!"
Next Joke
"The buildup of carbon emissions in the atmosphere is a great icebreaker."
"Roses are red Violets are blue Undeleted txts will be used against you"
"[first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i'm a veterinarian Me: thank you for your service Date: veterinarian not veteran Me: ok but still"
"Just bought Rosetta Stone for Starbucks."
"has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life"
"I saw a squirrel pooping the other day. Shit's Nuts..."
"I was going to go camping for vacation... But I think it's too in tents for me..."
"*live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes."
"Always check the height of any nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders.... How I learned this is not important..."