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Joke of the Day

"[after first date] Him: I had a great time, I'd love to see you again Her: Yes, we should do this again sometime but with other people"

"I used to be in a band called Cheap Viagra'. We didn't make it very big."

"What's a pirate's favorite sexual partner? Can't legally consent because they're retarrrrrrrrded."

"Why doesn't Pac-Man use Twitter? Because he doesn't like being followed."

"- Are you upset? Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... - No."

"What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse? A stalemate."

"What do you call a wine convention in upstate New York? The Lake Champlain Champagne Campaign"

"*Adding family on Facebook* Before: Fuck bitches, smoke, drink! After: I helped an old lady cross the street."

"Remember they're just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing."

"What did the Pimp say to the bashful Gamete Prostitute? Hey, Sex-cells"