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Joke of the Day

"I once saw three holes in the ground. Well, well, well."

"I once met a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds funny, dozen tit?"

"*Texts* Can I come over bae? I need you. <3 *Gets reply text* DUDE, STOP CALLING ME THAT. I'M YOUR DEALER NOT YOUR BAE. BRING CA$H!"

"Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be."

"Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste!! Label reads: Guaranteed whiteness in only 14 days... 15 days later and I'm still black."

"What video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft."

"My girlfriend is the squareroot of -100. She's a 10, but it sucks because she's imaginary."

"Father names his son Bentley. His friend asks - are you stupid? Why would you name your son Bentley?! Father - i don't care. At least i have Bentley now."

"I took biscuits with me on a date once. She called me a weirdo and said that biscuits was a stupid name for a cat."

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those that can count and those that can't"