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Joke of the Day

"Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste!! Label reads: Guaranteed whiteness in only 14 days... 15 days later and I'm still black."

"TIFU by picking up a dead bee. It wasn't. Now my thumb hurts."

"I'm not sure I understand What The Hell you're talking about....But.....you're showing cleavage, so I will listen."

"Two guys were fighting with guns... Two guys were fighting with guns. Then one of them died laughing very heartily. Why? Because the bullet hit his armpit. (told to me by my son)"

"Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots."

"Dr: you have pneumonia Hillary: what's pneumonia Me: *fighting off secret service* not much monia what's pneu with you"

"""Wow the service here is really good"" - snail after waiting 40 mins for a Big Mac"

"Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch she goes New York L.A. Chicago"

"With a calendar, your days are numbered."

"It would suck to have writer's block but then come up with a great idea for a suicide note."