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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is the squareroot of -100. She's a 10, but it sucks because she's imaginary."

"What did the Muslim Terrorist say when he bombed Hawaii? Oahu Akbar!"

"You can make jokes about anything; just not Mexicans. That's crossing the border."

"I have an on again off again relationship with clothing."

"I love when I can still smell your colon on my pillow the next day. -why spelling matters"

"Q: Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night? A: They couldn't fit a deer into the car."

"Whats the difference between a USB and the USA? One has standards."

"I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing."

"Mexicans used to excel at cross-country... ... but Donald Trump could be the reason they get a gold in pole-vaulting"

"shaking hands is weird, it's like ""hey, i don't know you. let's touch each other"""