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Joke of the Day

"Father names his son Bentley. His friend asks - are you stupid? Why would you name your son Bentley?! Father - i don't care. At least i have Bentley now."

"My doctor told me to drink 8 bottles of water a day I have to buy a case of bud light every 3 days now"

"What do you get when you mix a dog and a tulip? A collieflower"

"did you hear about the new tv crime drama? Criminal Mastermimes: the Silent Killers"

"Customer: Waiter look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones. Waiter: Would you like the feathers too?"

"A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on war. The librarian replies, ""Fuck off, you'll lose it."""

"Do you know how old I am? I'm so old that I was around when the Dead Sea was just sick. (Told to me by my grandfather)"

"No thanks, flu shot. I look forward to three days off from work and returning looking like I was on a diet for six weeks."

"I asked a new zealander how many sexual partners he has had. He fell asleep counting."

"9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won't tell you what they're wearing."