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Joke of the Day

"The Wind is a Force So when I pass gas i must be using the Force."

"I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light."

"I hate w.hen my period comes early"

"The difference between ""Girlfriend"" and ""Girl Friend"" is that little space in between. We call the ""Friend Zone""."

"My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer"

"I'm really sick of the ""ebola cereal"" joke... I'm pretty sure that's the last thing you'll find in Africa."

"Never tell a woman that her place is in the kitchen. That's where the knives are kept."

"Hey Mom, I hate tomato soup... Mom: Shut up, you only have it once a month!"

"What do you call a complaining adult? A groan up!"

"i thought eyelashes were meant to keep shit out of your eye but half the time theres anything in my eye its a fucking eyelash"