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Joke of the Day
"The Wind is a Force So when I pass gas i must be using the Force."
Next Joke
"1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have 'lady problems' then start crying. It works even better for guys."
"Great news teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine. So what's so great about that? It's snowing outside!"
"Never treat someone like Coca-Cola when they treat you like Pepsi."
"Parallel lines have so much in common... Its a shame they'll never meet."
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa, Not screaming and on fire like his passengers"
"Being a fat guy at McDonald's is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business"
"Two condoms walk past a gay bar one turns to the other and says ""hey, wanna go in there and get shitfaced""?"
"Pity Poor Peter I feel sorry for my friend Peter. His hair's a mess. His family's nuts. His neighbor's an asshole. On bad days, his girlfriend's a c---. And his owner beats him. EDIT: Punctuation."
"Therapist: Do u ever feel like hurting yourself Me: No T: What about other people Me:.....................................................No"