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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: Do u ever feel like hurting yourself Me: No T: What about other people Me:.....................................................No"

"LINCOLN: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. TWITTER: No."

"Knock-knock ""Knock-knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Control freak--now you say, 'Control freak who?'"""

"I was going to make a joke about sodium but then I thought Na."

"*watching my hamster gnaw on his tiny broadsword* you are a disgrace to your lineage and bring great shame upon this house"

"If the State of the Union is really ""the best it's ever been"" Why do we ""need"" dozens of new government programs to fix it!"

"Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you're really clingy and annoying"

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Ones a goodyear and the others a great year."

"The average male only lives to 25... It just takes 45 years to bury them."

"A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub She says, ""Show me it's true what they say about black men."" So he stabs her and steals her purse."