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Joke of the Day

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa, Not screaming and on fire like his passengers"

"One fun way to describe Facebook is ""imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart."""

"Did you hear that Trump is getting penis enlargement surgery? It's gonna be yuge."

"No trees were killed to send this tweet, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced."

"TIL I'm bad at posting at the right subreddit"

"A terrorist is training a group of newbies ""Alright class, listen closely as I can only show you how to do this ONCE"""

"How many confederate flag bearing husbands does it take to beat up their wives? None, she fell down the stairs."

"People who process expired passports are so lazy they're always cutting corners. (Joel Dommett)"

"I have an addiction to cheddar... But it's only mild"

"A dog made out of diamonds is everyone's best friend."