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Joke of the Day
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"All of the UFO sightings were just people seeing chuck Norris fly to McDonald's."
"I like that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel & King Triton wouldn't violate a contractual obligation, but they murdered Ursula with a ship."
"[Nerd Joke] Yo momma's so fat she sees red lights as green... ...Doctors call this colour blindness, physicists call it gravitational blue-shift."
"How did hipster kid hurt himself? He touched the stove before it was cool..."
"We see you, people with transitions glasses that haven't fully adjusted to the correct lighting. We see you."
"Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards."
"""Crap, I gotta get up and undressed for work."" - strippers"
"What's the difference between hanging with friends and jacking it on the toilet? One means you're taking a load off and shooting the shit, the other is taking a shit and shooting a load off."
"once you go black... you're a single mother"