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Joke of the Day

"Here lies Aunt Brenda. Trampled to death on the day after Thanksgiving trying to save $18 on a crock pot. Rest in peace, sweet angel."

"What do you get when you add root beer to a square cup? Beer."

"You either die a Chris Farley or live long enough to see yourself become an Adam Sandler."

"Unless you are a pregnancy test, take your negativity somewhere else."

"It must have been pretty easy for The Beatles to say ""All You Need is Love"" since they were fucking millionaires."

"My girlfriend... I told me friend that I found a girlfriend. They laughed at me and told me she was imaginary. Now the joke is on them, turns out that they are also imaginary."

"Why does the police officer get up early in the morning? To beat the crowds."

"Baby your dirtier than my browsers history!"

"Girls that are 16 and pregnant may look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34."

"What do Germans call a flying jew? Smoke."