180212

Joke of the Day

"If you want to know if a girl is into you, look at her feet. If they point away from you she's not interested, if they're behind her ears she's very interested."

"U2 donated that album without charging, and we hate it. That's pro bono and anti-Bono at the same time."

"America: School 6-18 should be free. More than free! MANDATORY ""Hey can you cover school 19-22 also?"" No that's socialism ""19-20?"" SOCIALISM"

"I saw my first porn yesterday I was so young back then...."

"2 snowmen in field, one Turns to the other and says ""can you smell carrot?"""

"What's the difference between the Earth and my sock? The Earth's crust is on the outside."

"Men? On the whole, I'd rather buy new batteries."

"What's the difference between a large chested lobster and a dirty bus stop? One's a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station."

"New Adage! Coined a phrase today and wanted to share: ""You either go with the flow, or get flushed down the toilet."" Pretty cunning don't 'cha think?"

"I hate using a plunger... they work the shit out of me."