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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do? A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!"

"Removing her clothes"

"94% of my workout regimen is reading things online that make me so angry I shake"

"After significant research, I can confirm that toddlers will not go away if you ignore them."

"I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year. But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung"

"Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom? Force of Hobbit."

"They gave me some cake but it was way too basic and burned my mouth. Turns out the cake was a lye. ^^^^^^sorry"

"Did you hear about the girl with the boobs on her back? She was hell to look at but nice to dance with."

"So, have you guys seen the headlines about 'Jesus might have had a wife'? I don't know why they're still speculating. After all, it's pretty clear that *someone* was nailing him."

"I hesitate to make fun of ""Canadian bacon,"" because I know they'll eventually play the ""American cheese"" card."