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Joke of the Day

"Dad, Why was Mahatma Gandhi bald ""Because he always spoke the truth"" ""Oh! That's why woman have long hair"""

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three ho's."

"Turns out telling a friend ""you're giving off a weird vibe tonight"" is not the most direct way to tell them they're on fire"

"Call your son Jack So you can drop your wife and Jack off every morning. (Actually heard a friend said that)"

"Top 3 questions asked by my parents: 3) How's the business? 2) Do you have a girlfriend? 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator?"

"[Little Caesar's meeting] ""We need a new, clever slogan"" *everyone looks at Jim* Jim: Um... Pizza...Pizza? ""Jim...U just saved this company"""

"Divorce. When being wrong every day for being alive isn't working for you."

"How did Obama celebrate his reelection? He hosted a Democratic Party."

"Why would the jewish cannibal eat you? For-Skin"

"What happened to when the coke bottle was ran over by the steam roller? He was soda pressed."