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Joke of the Day

"I think ""old media"" should rebrand themselves as ""cougar media"" to attract a younger male audience."

"Did you hear about the cannibal that went to the rock concert? He heard there was a Jimmy Buffet."

"We will always be important enough to fit into someone's motive. However, that is not the kind of importance we want to carry around"

"Friends are forever. Until they get in a relationship."

"When is a pentagon not a pentagon? When it's intercepted by a separate plane."

"Me: [getting stabbed by criminal] buddy this seems illegal"

"What are jokes about janitors called? Sweeping generalizations."

"I attempted my first press-up today. Sadly I only smelled defeat."

"What's the oldest trick in the book? The first one."

"Fuck. We're gonna be known as the generation that loved autocorrect fails"