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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the cannibal that went to the rock concert? He heard there was a Jimmy Buffet."

"What has two holes and smells a lot? Your nose"

"AA Milne: Ok rabbit, we'll call you Rabbit. Piglet, you can be Piglet Bear: Wow, real original AAM: [scribbles out Bear and writes Pooh]"

"I'm living proof that you should never give up hope. You may find this hard to believe, given my current level of sheer awesomeness, but I was once a pathetic loser like you. Be strong."

"Asked a hen how many eggs it lays daily? It said: two eggs I said: Oh strange! It said: what's strange? the fact that I lay two eggs? I said: no, the fact that you talk"

"A man got a fortune cookie without a fortune.... ... well that's unfortunate"

"After moving to a boring part of the West, what did Sauron say when he spotted gaps around the threshold to his home? I need more door."

"What's the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen Talking."

"What book does ISIS use to enhance their sex life? Camel Sutra"

"Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet."