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Joke of the Day
"Hermione decided to spice up her life after realizing she was a basic witch. (Sorry, That's it)"
Next Joke
"I'm not into bestiality but... I do like hot dogs"
"What has antlers pulls Father Christmas' sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer! What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard."
"Wife: ""I look fat. Tell me something to make me feel better."" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""
"What did Jose name his son? Hose B"
"[waiting for elevator] Coworker: Hey, how's it go- Me: I'll take the stairs."
"When I see my cat watching out the window, fascinated, I sit beside her and say, 'Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.'"
"LA girls say they want to go on ""adventures"" but when I pitch the idea of overthrowing the yakuza they clarify that they meant, like, hiking"
"My version of ""naked and afraid"" is when I'm in the shower, soap in my eyes, and I hear a weird noise."
"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away."