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Joke of the Day

"The bus carrying the Chinese tourists crashed. It hit a language barrier."

"I don't chase guys unless I have my inhaler with me."

"Sometimes i flirt and i feel really akward. Idk if the people around me are gonna hate more for it. I have this rly weird feeling in my stomach and sometimes idk why. Oh wait not flirt. I ment fart"

"What do you call it when a Bulgarian uses vulgar language? A Bulgarity."

"Have you guys heard of the new ska/dubstep band? first they drop the bass. then they pickitup-pickitup-pickitup!"

"I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo."

"Weird how my first 11 coffees tasted like coffee but the 12th one tastes like I'm having a stroke."

"What do you call a threesome? Q: What do you call a threesome with a man and two women? A: *Fucking awesome.* Q: What do you call a threesome with a woman and two men? A: *Gay sex with a witness.*"

"I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality... ...but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse."

"2 fish were in a tank, what did one of them say to the other? How do I drive this thing?"